Download wordart here "Ginger, where have you been? We haven't heard from you in days and you're supposed to be here now!" I could hear the fear in Bonnie's voice as she spoke.
"I'm still in North Carolina and it's wonderful!" I happily replied.
"You aren't still chasing after those gay guys are you?" Now, Bonnie just sounded angry.
"No, Bonnie. I looked up another old boyfriend and I ended up spending quite a bit of time with him." I said, trying to calm her down.
"Really? Is there romance in the air?" She quizzed me teasingly.
"Oh, God, no! He's a total loser and it's wonderful!" I shouted happily.
"Hold on, let me make sure I've got this right. You aren't here because you're still in North Carolina?"
"Right."
"You've been spending time with one of your old boyfriends and loving it?"
"Right."
"You're loving it because he's a total loser?"
"You got it!"
"Hold on a minute, Ginger, I need to talk to someone."
There were muffled sounds and whispered voices before someone spoke into the phone again.
"Ginger, are you there? It's me, Linda." Linda sounded puzzled and a little drunk as she spoke into the phone.
"Yes, I'm here and I need for you to explain to me how Bonnie knows about my gay ex-boyfriends." I demanded.
"Oh that, well you weren't here like you said you would be and I had to tell everyone something to keep them entertained."
"Linda, I'm almost afraid to ask, but just who is 'everyone'?"
"Everyone that was in the bar last Friday when you announced that you were leaving and...and a couple of their friends." Linda tried to gloss over the subject.
"On my God! Linda, why?"
"Calm down, Ginger. People have money riding on this and they needed to be kept up to date on how things were going." Linda tried to make it sound like it was all my fault that she had told my secret to all of those people. People I didn't even know.
"People are betting money on my miserable love life?" I yelled into the phone.
Linda hesitated to answer, "Well, maybe just a little bit. Is that OK with you?"
"Sure, why not? Wait a minute...are those cheers I hear? Linda, do you have me on speaker phone?"
"Bonnie did it, not me!" I could hear Linda trying to give the phone away to someone else.
Can my life get any worse?
People started shouting out cheers and saying hello. Someone asked me if I was going to be in Ben and Preston's wedding."
Yes. Apparently my life can get worse and it just has.
"Ginger, it's Gail. Can you hear me?"
"Yea, sure, I can hear you." I half heartedly answered.
"Explain, again, why you aren't here where you are supposed to be. Here where all your friends are."
"I looked up another guy that I dated in high school and I've been spending time with him..." I tried to explain, but Gail cut me off.
"OK, but didn't you just say that he was a loser?"
"Yes, he's a big fat loser and I have loved spending time with him."
"Ginger, listen to me very carefully. I know that they have some very nice hospitals in North Carolina and I really think that you should go to one and check yourself in for observation."
"Gail, I am not driving myself to the hospital." I was losing my patience quickly.
"You're right. That's a good idea. Just hang up now and call 911. They will come and get you. Maybe you'll even get to wear one of those pretty white jackets that they have." Gail tried to make her voice sound happy like straight jackets were the latest fashion accessory.
"I'm not crazy, Gail. I'm just happy."
"Oh honey, don't you understand? All crazy people say that they aren't crazy. That's how everyone knows that they are crazy."
"Gail, I think that you're the crazy one around here! Now, please let me talk to someone else." I was going to hang up and never call back if she told me to go to the hospital one more time.
I heard lots of talking and laughing in the background. Gail was insisting that my cookie had been over baked and that someone needed to get North Carolina on the phone and warn them. I
couldn't help but laugh.
"Are you there? This is Hal." Hal sounded like he was truly happy to hear my voice.
"Hi Hal. I'm here. Is everyone still listening?"
"More than ever. Listen, we went ahead and added the tally marks to the board. One loser and two winners, so this game is pretty much over. But, we would love to hear about this loser you've found."
"Finally, someone who wants to listen! But, Hal, I have to warn you that this isn't a game and that it's far from over."
"OK, honey, whatever you say. Just tell the story because the natives are getting restless." Hal laughed into the phone.
"Well, make sure everyone has a fresh drink and then sit back and listen."
"I'm still in North Carolina and it's wonderful!" I happily replied.
"You aren't still chasing after those gay guys are you?" Now, Bonnie just sounded angry.
"No, Bonnie. I looked up another old boyfriend and I ended up spending quite a bit of time with him." I said, trying to calm her down.
"Really? Is there romance in the air?" She quizzed me teasingly.
"Oh, God, no! He's a total loser and it's wonderful!" I shouted happily.
"Hold on, let me make sure I've got this right. You aren't here because you're still in North Carolina?"
"Right."
"You've been spending time with one of your old boyfriends and loving it?"
"Right."
"You're loving it because he's a total loser?"
"You got it!"
"Hold on a minute, Ginger, I need to talk to someone."
There were muffled sounds and whispered voices before someone spoke into the phone again.
"Ginger, are you there? It's me, Linda." Linda sounded puzzled and a little drunk as she spoke into the phone.
"Yes, I'm here and I need for you to explain to me how Bonnie knows about my gay ex-boyfriends." I demanded.
"Oh that, well you weren't here like you said you would be and I had to tell everyone something to keep them entertained."
"Linda, I'm almost afraid to ask, but just who is 'everyone'?"
"Everyone that was in the bar last Friday when you announced that you were leaving and...and a couple of their friends." Linda tried to gloss over the subject.
"On my God! Linda, why?"
"Calm down, Ginger. People have money riding on this and they needed to be kept up to date on how things were going." Linda tried to make it sound like it was all my fault that she had told my secret to all of those people. People I didn't even know.
"People are betting money on my miserable love life?" I yelled into the phone.
Linda hesitated to answer, "Well, maybe just a little bit. Is that OK with you?"
"Sure, why not? Wait a minute...are those cheers I hear? Linda, do you have me on speaker phone?"
"Bonnie did it, not me!" I could hear Linda trying to give the phone away to someone else.
Can my life get any worse?
People started shouting out cheers and saying hello. Someone asked me if I was going to be in Ben and Preston's wedding."
Yes. Apparently my life can get worse and it just has.
"Ginger, it's Gail. Can you hear me?"
"Yea, sure, I can hear you." I half heartedly answered.
"Explain, again, why you aren't here where you are supposed to be. Here where all your friends are."
"I looked up another guy that I dated in high school and I've been spending time with him..." I tried to explain, but Gail cut me off.
"OK, but didn't you just say that he was a loser?"
"Yes, he's a big fat loser and I have loved spending time with him."
"Ginger, listen to me very carefully. I know that they have some very nice hospitals in North Carolina and I really think that you should go to one and check yourself in for observation."
"Gail, I am not driving myself to the hospital." I was losing my patience quickly.
"You're right. That's a good idea. Just hang up now and call 911. They will come and get you. Maybe you'll even get to wear one of those pretty white jackets that they have." Gail tried to make her voice sound happy like straight jackets were the latest fashion accessory.
"I'm not crazy, Gail. I'm just happy."
"Oh honey, don't you understand? All crazy people say that they aren't crazy. That's how everyone knows that they are crazy."
"Gail, I think that you're the crazy one around here! Now, please let me talk to someone else." I was going to hang up and never call back if she told me to go to the hospital one more time.
I heard lots of talking and laughing in the background. Gail was insisting that my cookie had been over baked and that someone needed to get North Carolina on the phone and warn them. I
couldn't help but laugh.
"Are you there? This is Hal." Hal sounded like he was truly happy to hear my voice.
"Hi Hal. I'm here. Is everyone still listening?"
"More than ever. Listen, we went ahead and added the tally marks to the board. One loser and two winners, so this game is pretty much over. But, we would love to hear about this loser you've found."
"Finally, someone who wants to listen! But, Hal, I have to warn you that this isn't a game and that it's far from over."
"OK, honey, whatever you say. Just tell the story because the natives are getting restless." Hal laughed into the phone.
"Well, make sure everyone has a fresh drink and then sit back and listen."
