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Sunday, July 4, 2010

What happens when...

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What happens when your "What If Guy" meets your "Current Guy"?----You start thinking that you need a "New Guy". LOL!
One guy talks about the things you have done while the other talks about the things you will do. One guy says, "I want to be there when...". The other says, "I was there when...". One guy reminds you of the person you were and the other guy reminds you of the person you are. One guy likes your eyes and the other likes your smile.
Both guy are amazing. Both laugh at your stupid jokes and you laugh at all of theirs. Both guys remind you of who you can be. Both guys mean more to you then they will ever know.
It's the Fourth of July and when the sun goes down I will sit by the water with two of the three most amazing men I have ever met. We will all watch the fireworks over the Miami skyline which is one of my most favorite things to do.
I should be happy, but I'm sad. I'm sad because neither one of these guys is The Guy. The only thing my heart really wants is the one guy who is no longer here.
It's been 5 years since I've watched the Fourth of July fireworks with Charlie. 5 years! I finally understand why my mother didn't remarry until 20 years after my father passed away.


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