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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dreams, Ghosts and a GPS that hates me!

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OK, I looked back over the posts I've made the last couple of weeks and I have to say that I am BORING when I don't feel well! Maybe telling you about the day I had today will make up for boring you so much lately.

First of all I had to set the alarm to go off at my normal wake up time today because I needed to take a test to add onto my teaching certificate. Let me tell you, getting up at 6 AM on a Saturday morning is no fun! Actually, I'm pretty sure that the last time I saw 6 AM on a Saturday was because I was still up from the night before. lol!

Anyway, I went to bed a little early last night knowing that waking up this morning wasn't going to be easy or fun. That's when I had the first dream of the evening. It was short and sweet! I dreamed of Charlie. My wonderful Charlie.

In the dream, he asked me for a little kiss. I told him no and said that I only wanted big kisses. lol! Then he kissed me and I'm telling it felt real. I know it gross to open your eyes when getting a big kiss, but Charlie's been gone for almost 5 years and I just wanted to look at him, so I opened my eyes. Sadly, when I opened my eyes in the dream; I opened them in real life too and that was the end of that dream. It was a good though and I was happy!

I looked at the clock and saw that I still had three hours to sleep. So, I forced myself to stop thinking about my dream and to drift back off to sleep again. That's when the not so short and sweet dream happened.

I must have really been thinking about waking up for the test because that's what I dreamed about. I dreamed that I got to the testing center and the lady in charge was the lady that owned the little stationary/gift shop I worked in while I was in college. (She hadn't aged a bit!) We talked for a few minutes about how good it was to see each other then she started checking me in. I showed her my two forms of identification even though she already knew me and she asked for the printed confirmation I got when I scheduled the test. Well, I had forgotten to bring it with me. She said that I wouldn't be allowed to test, my $200 would not be refunded and I had to leave the test center immediately. I just couldn't understand. She had confirmed who I was and my name was in her system so she knew why I was there but she still wouldn't let me take the test. She even threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. I picked up my suitcase and walked out determined not to let her see me cry. (I have no idea where the suitcase came from, but it was there and it was mine so took it with me. lol!) I went outside and there were people everywhere. I stood at in the crowd and looked out at something for a few minutes. (I couldn't figure out why so many people were there or what they were watching.) As I turned around to leave I saw the lady from the test center again. She was on her way to mail some letters and she had one for me. She threw it at me and ran away. (Guess she could tell I was still mad about her not letting me take the test. lol!) I stared after her and didn't pick up the letter because I was afraid of what it said. Then, the next thing I know Liza Minnelli is there picking up the letter and handing it to me. (Seriously, people, what is Liza Minnelli doing in my dreams?) The letter said I couldn't take the test for reasons beyond my control so I would be getting a full refund. I woke up after that. I woke up happy again because even though I didn't take the test, I still had my suitcase and I was going to get my money back.

Let me tell you, before I left the house this morning, I made sure I printed out my confirmation sheet and took it with me. They didn't even look at it at the testing center. lol! But, I did pass my test and now I'll be able to add another area to my teaching certificate. I'm not sure why I did this. Kindergarten is the only thing I'm interested in teaching. But, we are on our third principal in six years, so you just never know what the future will bring.

Anyway, let me back up a little bit here so I can tell you about the ghost. I was in the shower this morning when the toilet flushed all by itself. I promise I'm not lying! It really flushed and it scared me! I live alone and toilets shouldn't flush on their own. I stood in the shower for a minute completely freaked out because I was in the bathroom all alone, but the toilet had flushed and the seat was down. That was when I decided I had a ghost and it wasn't Charlie. It couldn't have been Charlie, because he never put the toilet seat down.

I was freaked out, but happy to have a polite ghost that put the seat down. I did the only thing I could think to do. I asked the ghost to fix me some bacon and eggs for breakfast and continued on with my shower. The ghost didn't cook breakfast for me, but I wasn't upset. It probably would have if I had actually had some bacon and/or eggs in the house. I had to settle for my usual bowl of cereal. Then I also had a mini Snickers bar because it was barely 7 AM and I had already had a long day. Plus, I read somewhere a long time ago that you should eat something sweet an hour before you take a test.

I made sure I had my two forms of ID, my confirmation receipt, my lucky underwear (I decided my lucky underwear was the first clean pair I found cause I seriously need to do some laundry!) and I left for the testing center hoping the ghost would clean and do laundry while I was gone. I punched the address I needed to go to into the GPS and took off.

I'm not sure if my GPS system is angry with me, jealous of the ghost or just bored and wanted to do some sight seeing but that stupid thing took me through parts of town I have never seen before and hope to never see again. I had no idea where the testing center actually was so I had no choice, but to do what Martha (Martha is my GPS' name) told me to do. Right before Martha took me on the scenic tour I remember thinking that I could probably just go straight, but I turned right just like she told me to. 15 minutes and several turns later I arrived at the testing center. It wasn't until I finished the test and asked Martha to take me home again that I realized I knew where I was. Even though I'm not 100% familiar with that part of town, I was correct in thinking that I could go straight. Had I done that I would have arrived at the testing center about 14 minutes earlier then I actually did.

I got home and discovered that the ghost I have doesn't clean or do laundry, but I had passed my test, I didn't get lost in Miami and the toilet seat was still down so I was happy anyway.

I napped, ate lunch, played on the computer, watched some TV shows that have been recorded on my TIVO since January and held several one way conversations with the ghost. Look, I'm happy about the whole toilet seat thing, but I think it should at least talk to me. I mean, how else can I make it clear that being in the bathroom and flushing the toilet while I'm in the shower really isn't appropriate? Orange Croc Guy says the ghost probably read my blog and ran away in fear. (He's so mean.)

Tonight, we went back into Miami for dinner. I drove so I could show everyone how crazy Martha the GPS is and why I think she's jealous of the ghost. Martha played nice going to dinner, but coming home was a whole other story. Apparently, Martha wanted to party cause she kept telling me to head for Collins Avenue. Even when I was sitting right in front of my building and I could see the little destination flag on Martha's screen she was telling me to turn right. I needed to turn left to go through the security gate, but Martha told me repeatedly to turn right and she had Collins Avenue highlighted. Seriously!!!

Drive on Collins Avenue on a Saturday night! A Saturday night when the boat show is in town! I think not! There's a reason we always walk when we are heading toward Collins. It's called traffic...and bars. lol!

Now, that I'm telling you my story, I realize that poor Martha probably hasn't been on Collins Avenue in the evening, much less a Saturday evening. OMG! She really did want to party!!!

Of course, maybe there was something on Collins Avenue tonight that I was supposed to see. Maybe I've missed some major connection or turning point in my life because I refused to turn right when the GPS said to over and over again.

Oh, good grief! Sounds like I'll be dreaming about Collins Avenue tonight. That is if the ghost doesn't wake be up by flushing the toilet.


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