***If the download link isn't working, please, just right click on the word art and save it to your computer.***

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I've got a secret!!!

Download wordart here


I've got a secret and I'm really excited about it. Actually, it's not even my secret. That means I can't tell you what it is....until tomorrow.


I promise it's not an April Fools Joke!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Speed Scrap at STS!

Download wordart here


Susan of Ivorykeys Digital Dreams is hosting a speed scrap at Stuff to Scrap tonight.

You should check out the fun!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic



Check out this awesome participation prize...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

And it wasn't even a long weekend!

Download wordart here


Well, it was Monday....and it wasn't the Monday after a long weekend, but we still have no air conditioning at school and the local yocals still spray painted the outside of several buildings on campus sometime between Friday and this morning. Don't you just love Mondays! NOT!!!


Let me tell you, I didn't get enough sleep or wear enough antiperspirant for this day. lol!


Oh, and to make things even better there were a couple of lizards hanging out by one of the windows in my class. It didn't take long for one of the kids to announce to everyone, "Those lizards are on top of each other. I think they're fighting."


Yeah...fighting....that's it.



I went over and played with the shutters to get them to stop...umm...fighting.


I'm such a good teacher.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Brag Book Page Freebie!

Download wordart here


The brag book page freebie I posted on April's Blog this week was made using FairyLand. The kit is available in April's blog store. Go check it out!

Click on preview for our download...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Really, I do!

Download wordart here




Image and video hosting by TinyPic

You guys are the bestest in the whole world!

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Day Ginger Snapped part 19

Download wordart here

I felt like my body was being pulled in a direction that I didn't want
to go in. I wanted to shout "no" at the top of my voice, but the words
wouldn't come out of my mouth. My mouth felt so dry. It was like I had
tried to eat sandpaper. My head hurt and my eyes were squeezing
shut as tightly as they could to keep from seeing some unknown
source of light. My nose was the only part of my body that seemed
happy. It wanted to go toward the light and in the direction that
scared every other cell of my being. Then my ears betrayed me too.

There was a sound that sounded pleasant but distant. My ears
liked that sound and wanted to hear more. They made me turn my
head toward the light. My nose was suddenly happier because there
was a smell that I couldn't describe, but that my stomach also liked.

I tried to stay in the darkness. I wanted to stay in the darkness
forever, but my ears heard the sound again. It was getting closer and
louder and it was sounding better as it did.

"Ginger, I need for you to wake up now. You've been sleeping off
and on for a day and a half. I've ordered breakfast for you. Please
wake up. You're really starting to worry me."

My heart heard this sound and started beating faster. I felt like I
had no choice but to give in and allow myself to go into the light. I
was scared, but somehow I knew that I was going to be okay. The
comforting sound that I heard was there to make sure that I was fine.
Nothing was going to happen to me that I couldn't handle. So I gave
in and happily went into the light.

I slowly opened my eyes and everything was a blur at first. I could
still hear the sound that had been calling to me so I tried to focus on
where it was coming from. It sounded happier now that I had given
in. I could feel something gently touching me. First my arm and then my face. It was getting closer and so was the sound and smell. Finally, my eyes focused and I saw what had been calling me. Who had been calling me. Alden Cassidy.

"Well, Cinderella, welcome back to the ball. I was beginning to
think that you had checked out for good. Sit up now. I want you to try
to eat something. I promise that you'll feel better if you do."

I slowly looked around. I was still in bed in my hotel room even
though I really couldn't remember what city I was in. Alden's hair
looked damp and I didn't recognize the clothes he was wearing. At
some point he must have showered and changed. The lights in the
room were on and there was a room service tray sitting on the bed
beside me.

"Come on, now. If you will sit up, I'll help with the pillows and you
won't even have to get out of bed to eat. If you promise not to take
advantage of me, I may even sit next to you and have a bite myself."

Did he just offer to get into bed next to me?

"Did I die?" Was all that I could manage to say.

Alden smiled and said, "No, you didn't die. However, I imagine
that you are going to have a killer headache for awhile."

"Did you know that your smile makes the whole room brighter? It's
usually nice, but right now it kind of hurts my eyes." I lowered my head. As much as I loved his smile it was just too much to take at the moment.

"OK, Cinderella, I promise not to smile until you feel better if you
promise to eat something for me." Alden said and then closed his lips together tightly in an attempt to keep the smile he wanted to show me away.

I slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position with Alden's help. He
rearranged the pillows so that I could lean back on them. Then he
picked up the food tray and placed it across my lap. He sat on the
bed so that he was beside and facing me. He slowly removed the
lid from the food tray and revealed scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. The wonderful smell overwhelmed me and I started feeling better instantly.

"I would like something to eat, but my name isn't Cinderella. It's
Ginger. I thought you knew that." I put my hand to my head hoping it would help to calm the pain I felt there.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my promise about not
smiling if you keep talking. So, why don't you just eat?"

Alden held out a slice of bacon for me to take and I did. Food has
never tasted so good.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

UGH!

Download wordart here



For some weird reason today I woke up at 4AM and could not get back to sleep. Something tells me I'll be sleeping like a baby tonight.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Say it ain't so!

Download wordart here


Did you watch Dancing With Stars?

Explain to me how The Karate Kid got to be 49 years old!

I'm still the young girl that saw that movie in the theather.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Brag Book Page Freebie!

Download wordart here


Head over to April's blog to pick up this week's brag book page freebie. I used her Cowboys and Indian Kit. The kit is available in April's blog store.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

I know I'm late to the party, but...

Download wordart here

You've probably been using Groupon for a while now, but I just recently started and I have to tell you that it's awesome! Tonight, we went to see The Lincoln Lawyer after buying the tickets through Fandango using a Groupon discount. The tickets were only $6 each. I had $5 worth of Groupon bucks to use, so we actually got two tickets for $7.00.

Now, I don't know how much you pay for movies in your area, but around here we pay more than $7 for matinee tickets. lol!

Of course, movie tickets aren't the only money saving deals they have. There's something new everyday! Buy the ones you like and ignore the rest.

So, if you haven't signed up for Groupon, go do it now!

Oh, and you should also check out LivingSocial! Thanks to them, I'm going for an hour long massage and a facial tomorrow for only $39!

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Day Ginger Snapped part 18

Download wordart here


"Ginger, stop crying. Everything's going to be fine. You're safe now. Just calm down and tell me what happened." There was nothing but genuine concern in Alden's voice.

"You have beautiful eyes. Do you wear contacts to make them that
color?" I sobbed in my drunken state.

Alden couldn't help but laugh at me. He pushed the hair back off of
my face and rubbed my cheek. "No, I don't wear contacts. Now tell me why you got so drunk. What happened when you went to see this Kyle fellow?"

Just the mention of his name made me burst into hysterical tears all over again. He.....wears...he wears make up and blue eye contacts and… and ugly gold jewelry."

"OK, so he wears make up and contacts. That shouldn't make you
cry this way. He isn't the first guy from your past that you found out
was gay."

"He's...not ...gay. He's a televangelist!" I took a deep breath and
talked as fast as I could between crying fits. "They made me wash off
my make up. They said that the public schools were terrible. His
wife said that I was having an affair with him. And his daughter called
me a harlot!" I rolled away from Alden and buried my face in the
pillow to cry even more.

I remember him rubbing my back. I remember him laughing. I
remember him talking, but I don't really remember anything he said.
I don't even remember falling asleep, but when I woke up the sun was
creeping around the corner of the window blinds.

My head hurt like crazy and I had some killer breath. Much to my
body's dismay, I sat up in bed and looked around. I couldn't tell you
how I got back to my hotel room, but there I was and Alden Cassidy
was sleeping in a chair beside my bed.

Great! I finally get to spend the night with a gorgeous,
responsible man and he sleeps in the chair. My life is the pits!


I wanted to wash my face and brush my teeth before he woke up,
but sitting up in bed was as far as my body was willing to take me. I
slowly lowered myself back onto the pillow and the room went dark
again.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Here are a couple of questions for you...

Download wordart here


Question #1 = If I know and openly admit that I'm selfish, does that make me any less selfish?

Here are the major catastrophes that I've had to deal with over the last week or so...

1. The burger I ordered was over cooked.

2. The margarita I ordered arrived without salt on the rim.

3. My DVD player kicked the bucket.

4. My front load washing machine decided not to drain the water and the door wouldn't even open so my clothes were stuck in there soaking in water.

5. I ran into the Cute Fajita Delivery Guy when I was having a really bad hair/face/clothes day.

6. The door to the elevator at the grocery store wouldn't open and the wheels on the cart locked up after I went past the stupid yellow pole so I couldn't go around to the elevators on the other side.

7. My friends laughed mercilessly when I tripped going up the steps.

8. I had to pay, like, 80 thousand dollars a gallon just to put gas in my car.

9. The stupid battery on my laptop had to be replaced because it wouldn't hold the charge for more than 30 minutes.

10. The batch of orange sherbet I was making didn't freeze nearly fast enough.

11. A homeless man drinking "something" out of a 2 liter Sprite bottle and carrying a Victoria's Secret bag pinched my butt.


Aren't these just horrible things to have happen to anyone? Can you believe that I've actually had to go through all of this?

Last night I sat down in my oversized, very comfortable leather chair with a big bowl of orange sherbet that took way too long to make to watch some mindless TV. Instead of mindless TV I saw even more pictures, videos and stories from Japan. As I sat there watching, I realized that something was falling into my orange sherbet. It was tears that I didn't even realize I was crying.


Putting Things Into Perspective:

1. I have food, shelter and water.

2. I have friends and family that I know are alive and safe.

3. I have a job and just enough money to repair and/or replace the things in my life that break or need refilling.

4. I wasn't on the elevator when it got stuck.

5. The Cute Fajita Delivery Guy saw us before we spotted him, so he could have run away without saying anything---But, he didn't!!!

6. Even though I really, really wish that homeless guy hadn't pinched my butt, I keep coming back the the thought that ---The dude thought my butt was pinchable. Isn't that better than having one that isn't pinchable?

7. Everyday I have had something and/or someone make me smile.

Question #2 = How big are the catastrophes in your life? Really?

If you've looked at your life and realized how lucky you are and you can, please donate whatever you can to help Japan. It doesn't have to be much. Imagine, if everyone out there donated just a dollar or two how quickly we could help to return the smile to someone's face.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

Sandy Beaches BB page freebie!

Download wordart here

Click on the preview below to head over to April's Blog and pick up the brag book page I made using her Sandy Beaches Kit.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic



Have a great week!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Spring Break, Baby!

Download wordart here

OK, I have no idea why we're on spring break so early, but we are and I plan to enjoy it! I'm heading out of town for a few days.

Hopefully, all the links will work while I'm gone. I'll have internet access, but no guarantees on how often I'll use it. lol!

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Day Ginger Snapped part 17

Download wordart here



When we reached the dining room the robot family was lined up
and waiting for us. Kyle announced that we were ready to eat and
there were more bows and curtsies. Reba and the girls took off
through a door on one side of the room and the boys had a seat at
the table.

Kyle still had my hand so he led me to the table. He took the seat
at the head of the table and instructed me to sit next to him since I
was their 'honored guest'. The two boys took seats beside each
other and across from me. There was some bread on the table and
everyone has a glass of milk sitting by their plate.

A set of double doors opened and Reba walked into the room
carrying a large dish with some kind of casserole in it. She was
followed by the two girls who were each carrying a plate. The tallest
girl held a large salad and the shorter one had a pie of some sort.

They each placed their dishes on the table in front of Kyle
who smiled at them in return. Without saying a word the girls found a
seat at the table. Reba took the chair sitting opposite of Kyle and the
girls were on the side of the table with me

Kyle held his hands out on the table and cleared his throat.
Everyone, except for me, took that as a sign to hold hands and get
ready for a blessing. I sat there like an idiot until the little girl that was
sitting next to me exhaled rather rudely and grabbed my hand. I
apologized to everyone and took Kyle's hand. I lowered my head and
tried not to fall asleep while Kyle gave a twenty minute blessing over
food that was getting colder by the second. Apparently, these people
don't mind eating cold casserole.

Once Kyle had finally finished he raised his head and let go of my
hand. I was really glad because the blood could start circulating to it
once again. The robot family followed Kyle's lead. No one said a
word. They stopped holding hands after Kyle did. They placed their
napkins in their laps after Kyle did the same with his.

Kyle picked up the salad bowl and put some on his plate then
passed it to his son. He did the same thing with the casserole and
bread. No one spoke until Kyle said, "While we're filling our plates
why don't you children introduce yourselves to Miss Granger."

The older boy started, "My name is Abraham and I am fifteen."

"My name is Jeremiah and I'm thirteen."

"My name is Rebekah and I'm eleven."

"My name is Ruth and I'm nine years old."

"Well, it's certainly nice to meet all of you, My name is Ginger and I
am a scorpio." I thought I was being funny, but I was the only one that
laughed.

After the last plate had been placed back on the table Kyle picked
up his fork and started eating. All the good little robots followed his
lead. I followed theirs. The food tasted awful. The casserole was
bland and had no seasoning. There wasn't even any dressing on the
salad. No wonder Kyle said such a long blessing. He was trying to
avoid having to eat this crap!

Kyle finally broke the silence, "Well, family, what would you like to
discuss tonight?"

Little Ruth spoke up first, "Daddy, is your friend, Miss Granger
going to burn in hell.?"

I coughed and salad actually fell out of my mouth and back onto my
plate. I looked at the kid who was smiling at me like she had just
found the Golden Ticket or something. I waited for Kyle to come to
my rescue, but it was Jeremiah who spoke up first.

"Mother says she has the devil in her for sure."

I looked at Reba who was eating her meal and pretending she
hadn't heard anything her rotten little kids had said.

Kyle laughed at his "precocious" children and assured them that
everyone has a little devil in them and we must all learn to control it.

"Excused me, Miss Granger, may I ask you a question?" Rebekah
asked all innocence and smiles.

I was glad to have someone being nice to me so I said, "Of course,
you may ask me anything at all."

"How long have you been a harlot?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I screamed at her. There were gasps from everyone at the table because I had used the 'h word'. "Kyle, are you really going to just sit there and let your family treat me this way?"

"Ginger, please calm down. The children didn't mean any harm.
After dinner, you and I can spend lot of time together, alone, praying
for your eternal soul. I'm sure God will forgive you your sins just as he
has forgiven everyone else in the world. You just need to ask. I can
help." Kyle had that dirty look in his eyes again.

I looked around the table at everyone, Abraham had a smile on his
face. I think he was actually enjoying his dinner. The other children
looked horrified. I'm sure they still haven't recovered form hearing the
'h word'. Kyle was staring at me with pure lust in his fake blue eyes
and Reba was sending me death ray glares.

I stood up and calmly dropped my napkin on the table. "Reba,
thank you so much for cooking such a tasteless mean. Now I don't
have to feel guilty about walking out on it."

I walked away from the table as fast as I could and headed right for
the elevator and my shoes. I didn't even take the time to put them
back on. I just grabbed them in my hands and ran into the elevator as the door opened.

Just as the door was closing, Kyle jumped on with me.

"Kyle, so help me God, if you say one word about praying I will
throw these shoes at you."

"Ginger, please forgive my children. Reba is a very strict parent
and I'm afraid my children only see things in black and white. Either
you are in our church or you're going to hell."

"The joke is on you, Kyle. Your life is a living hell and you're too
dumb to notice!"

Kyle moved closer to me and tried to pin me against the elevator
wall. He mumbled something about wanting me to 'talk dirty to him',
so I kicked him between his legs as hard as I could. When he fell
onto the floor, I threw one of my shoes and hit him on the head.

The elevator door opened and the nice guy who works the front
desk was standing there. He looked at me with pity on his face.
Then, he was Kyle huddled in the corner with his hands on the family
jewels, crying like a baby and he looked back at me with respect in his eyes.

He held out his hand for me to take and helped me out of the
elevator and walked me outside. Once we were out of Kyle's hearing
range he laughed and said that he could just kiss me. Then he asked
if he could call a cab for me. I asked him to just point me in the
direction of the closest bar. He pointed down the street and I took off.

I needed a Margarita like I had never needed one before!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dear Wisconsin Residents...

Download wordart here
Dear Wisconsin Residents,
I am so, so sorry!!!
I would tell you to move to Florida, but I don't like our governor either.
Just remember the names of those responsible for this so that you don't vote for them the next time around!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Hook and Needle Kit by FlowerScraps

Download wordart here


It's been a long time since we've gotten a new kit from FlowerScraps, but I promise this one has been worth waiting for! If you knit or crochet you are really going to love this kit. I don't do either one of those or any sewing for that matter, but FlowerScraps has added enough non-sewing elements and papers that it doesn't matter. The kit can be used for so many other things! The colors are also perfect for spring!

Check out this preview...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic



There are 6 cardstock papers, 12 papers, 40 elements, a full alpha and FlowerScraps also has an addon for you with even more papers and elements.

Here are a couple of layouts I've made...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic



Image and video hosting by TinyPic



Make sure you visit FlowerScrap's Blog for more layout inspiration and to check out the cute addon. Then head over to the FlowerScraps store at Stuff To Scrap to buy the awesome Hook and Needle Kit!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Brag Book Page Freebie!





Click on the preview below to head over to April's Blog to pick up this weeks BB page freebie. Make sure you check out the kits in her blog store while you're there!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Have a great week!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I promise it's fiction!

Download wordart here

OK, you guys are funny!

I promise, promise, promise my novel is fiction! lol!

I did give the main character my name because The Day Ginger Snapped sounds way better than The Day Margaret Snapped or any other name. Her friends in the bar...Linda, Bonnie, Gail and Brent are the names of real friends of mine that I have spent many, many happy hours with, but they are also nothing like their name sakes in the book.

There is a chapter coming up in which the fake Ginger gives a speak about who she is and what she wants that is almost word for word like one I gave about myself around the time I wrote that chapter. The reaction she gets is NOTHING like the reaction I got! (She's the lucky one)

She is in a scary place right now, but I promise she gets the best of Kyle and will move on to a happy ending. I even made sure her friends ended up happy too!

In April, the same site that sponsored the novel writing in November is sponsoring a screen writing month. I don't think I'll even try to tackle that one! lol! I know even less about screen writing than I do about novel writing.

But then again, how about.....

The Day Ginger Snapped ~
The Musicial


LOL! I think I'll just wait for November and try the novel writing again.

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Day Ginger Snapped part 16

Download wordart here


I walked into the lobby of a beautifully renovated building and felt like I had stepped into a palace. I looked around and wondered what road you had to take in life to end up here. Why do some of us have crappy jobs and crappy lives while others live in buildings like this? How can this possible be fair?

"Excuse me, may I ask who you're here to see? I'll need to announce you." A pleasant looking older gentleman in a uniform smiled at me from behind a desk.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I was just admiring how beautiful this place is. My name is Ginger Granger and I am here to see Kyle Morris. He's expecting me."

The gentleman looked at me with sympathy and what may have been fear as he asked, "Are you sure he's expecting you?"

"Yes, he is. We're old college friends." I was hoping the man believed I was actually capable of knowing someone who could afford to live in such a fancy place because I wasn’t convinced myself.

"OK, if you're sure you want to stay, I can announce you. Once I pick up that phone though you're on your own." He said with a straight face.

I couldn't help but laugh. This poor man must have been desperate for someone to talk to. "I'm sure I want to stay. Thank you."

He shook his head and picked up the phone. A few minutes later the elevator door pinged open and Kyle came walking out. He had definitely put on some weight, but he still looked good. He was dressed in a three-piece suit and his hair was longer than it had been in college. His eyes were blue and that seemed strange to me because when we were in college, I'm pretty sure he had brown eyes.

Kyle held out his arms to embrace me and I noticed that he was wearing two large rings on each of his hands and he had a large gold cross dangling from a very thick chain around his neck.

Oh my God, did Kyle grow up to be some kind of music rapper?

"Ginger, my child, come give me a hug. It has truly been a long time since we've seen each other. How have you been? I've prayed for you so many times over the years." As he came closer I noticed that he was wearing foundation on his face and mascara.

Oh dear Lord, please, not another gay one!

Kyle pulled me into a bear hug and while he held me there I heard him saying something about a father, a son and a ghost. I really didn't get what he was saying because I was busy just trying to
breathe. He was wearing a whole lot of some kind of cologne and it was horrible.

Finally, Kyle pulled away and took my hand, "Let's get you upstairs. You look exhausted and I can't wait for Reba and the kids to meet you." He smiled at me before giving a strange look to the man who was working the desk. I watched as the man took a step back and positioned himself to run away if the need arose.

Kyle then half drug me behind him as he headed for the elevator. I took a look back over my shoulder and saw the gentleman at the front desk crossing himself as if he had just said another prayer for me too.

The elevator door closed. We rode up in silence, but Kyle didn't let go of my hand. I was trying to decide what to say when the elevator doors opened and I found myself staring into the faces of his wife and four kids. They were all lined up according to height and smiling from ear to ear.

"Everyone, this is my friend, Miss Ginger Granger, you've all heard of her. Please, lets make her feel welcomed in our home." With that being said, the girls all curtsied and the boys bowed.

"Hello, it's very nice to meet all of you. You have a beautiful home." I said that, but so far all I had seen of their home was what I saw over the tops of their heads as they bowed and curtsied.

His wife stepped forward and extended her hand. "Please come in. You can leave your shoes here, by the elevator."

When she said that I looked down and for the first time noticed that I was the only one wearing shoes. However, there were six pairs of shoes, lined up by size, right outside of the elevator. I slipped mine off and put them on an empty mat on the other side of the elevator door. I didn't like doing it, but it was their home and I didn't want to offend anyone.

Kyle spoke up rather heartily and said, "Children, come with me while your mother shows Miss Granger where she can freshen up." They all walked away and it looked like a mini parade with Kyle leading the way.

Reba smiled and asked me to follow her. She led me to a very tacky gold painted door just across from the elevator and opened it so that I could see inside. "There are fresh towels and some soap for you in here. We ask that you wash off all of your make up. We don't allow the devil's paint in our home."

I was certain that I must have heard her wrong. I mean, 'devil's paint'? Who says stuff like that? "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

Reba held her arms by her side, but I could see that she had her hands twisted into fists. "Miss Granger, I'm certain that you heard exactly what I said. If you wish to enter further into our home, then I have to insist that you clean your face. Please." She looked at me with the meanest, scariest smile on her face.


What could I do? Part of me wanted to run away, but an even bigger part of me wanted to stay and watch the freak show for awhile. How bad could the night go? We were in their home and their children were there. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

I spent several minutes snooping through the cabinets and drawers, but I didn't find anything exciting. This room obviously had no use other than washing the 'devil's paint' from the faces of their visitors. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't help but laugh. Now that the devil's paint was gone they were about to see just what the devil looked like!

I opened the door and found Reba waiting for me with her arms crossed under her breasts. I smiled. She smirked.

"OK, I'm all clean now." I said.

Reba uncrossed her arms and exhaled loudly as she said, "If only it were that easy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded to know.

She stepped up close to me. "You will stop this affair you're having with my husband now. If you're pregnant, you will have an abortion. You will not ask for money. And after you leave this home tonight, you will never be seen by anyone in my family again. Do you understand me?" Reba said with fire in her eyes.

"Are you crazy? I'm not sleeping with your husband! I haven't even seen him since we were in college!"

Reba took a step closer to me, lowered her voice and pointed her finger in my face. "Do you really think you're the first slut to come around here thinking she was going to replace me? Well, you're not and you won't. My husband has strayed in the past. He's a man. He's weak. That's what they do. But let me make myself very clear. I have worked hard to get the things I have and I am not about to let some cheap whore in a tacky outfit take anything away from me."

I was about to take my earrings off and fight the witch for calling my favorite outfit tacky, but she backed up and said in a louder voice, "Oh good, there you are. My husband will meet with you in his office." Then she smirked again and motioned for me to follow her.

I followed her like a good little robot. Something about that house just seemed to turn everyone into a robot.

She led me to a very large room with lots of books and religious stuff hanging all over the walls. I entered the room and found Kyle sitting in the middle of a leather sofa looking over some kind of
document. He looked up and smiled at me.

"You look so beautiful, Ginger. I hope you'll learn to stop hiding behind all that make up and let your natural beauty shine through." He looked toward his wife, "Reba, please give us a few minutes to talk. We'll be in for dinner shortly."

Reba curtsied and backed out of the door. She pulled it close as she left.

Kyle put the paper he was looking at down and motioned for me to have a seat on the sofa next to him. "I was just going over an essay that Abraham wrote. Reba home schools the children. We don't want them to get corrupted by the public school system and hate the elitist attitude that private schools instill. So, what is it that you are doing with your life?"

I looked back at the closed door and wondered if I should stay with Kyle or take my chances with Reba. I decided that I could probably take Kyle down easier than I could Reba so I stayed put.

Instead of sitting next to Kyle I moved and sat on a stool that was a good three feet away from him.

"I'm a teacher in a public school. What do you do?"

"Well, teaching is certainly a noble profession, Ginger. It's just a shame that they took prayer out of the schools though. Our society has suffered greatly since the powers that be made that mistake."

"I'm really not in the mood to tackle that subject with you. Kyle what happened? How did you get here? You used to be...you used to be fun."

He laughed and ran his hand back and forth over his chin as he decided how to answer. "I got lucky. I woke up one day and realized that my life was on the fast track to hell. I knew that I had to make changes and that I had to make amends for the things that I've done. I went online and got ordained as a minister. I started my own church. Now I have a cable access show that runs Monday through Friday at 4:30 AM here in the tri-state area."

"What did you ever do that was so bad you had to become someone with a robot wife and children?" I was amazed by the things he was saying.

Kyle laughed before he answered. "Reba can be rather intense. She is a wonderful wife and mother though. I'm afraid that I haven't always been the best husband, but she stays and loves me anyway. That's the way the Lord says things should be. I am a blessed man."

I was horrified by what I was hearing. "Kyle, just where did you find this Lord that you're talking about? I think someone should have a talk with him. After all, it's 2010, you know!"

"Ginger, you can find the Lord any place. He's here right now. He wants you to know that he loves you." Kyle stared at me like I was a child or something.

"Kyle, really?" I looked around in awe and confusion. "How did you go from being the happy party boy in college to being some kind of religious freak?"

"Are you ready to hear my testament, Ginger?" He smiled a strange, scary smile that made me feel dirty.

"Lay it on me, brother!" I said, wishing I had a Margarita and thinking that I was about to find out just how badly things could get.

Kyle took a deep breath and leaned back on the sofa. "Ginger, it isn't a pretty story. There are bound to be parts that you won't like. I apologize for that now and I will try to be as gentle as I can when I reach those areas. There are just some things that a lady should not have to hear."

"Are you kidding me? Those are going to be the best parts? I can't wait to hear this." I said in a raised voice.

Kyle looked at me with a frown on his face, but I swear that there was also a sparkle in his fake blue eyes.

"My story starts when I was a child and I did things to defy my parents. I wouldn't clean my room. I would talk back. I used the Lord's name in vain. From there I progressed to drinking and staying out late in high school. In college, I started having premarital sex with girls that had no morals. I didn't care anything for them. They were all just sex objects to me."

"Excuse me, I think I was one of those college girls and I do have morals. You slimy jerk!" I shouted at him.

"Ginger, please watch your language and your tone in my home. I have young innocent children. I warned you that this would not be easy to hear. Do you want me to continue?"

"By all means...continue." I waved my arms in the air letting him know that I was not happy, but that I planned on hearing his whole story.

"I feel awful about how I used you and every other girl that came into my life before I found the Lord. When I think back on all those "Theme Ugly" parties we had in college I am ashamed." Kyle lowered his head and pretended to cry.

"What's a 'Theme Ugly' party? I don't remember those."

"Oh Ginger, my child, I am so sorry. The guys and I used to all throw five dollars a piece into a big pot. We would then all go out and find the ugliest girl we could find and invite her to a party in our dorm. At the end of the night, the guy with the ugliest date won all the money."

I jumped up off of the stool so fast that I knocked it over. "Our first date was at a party in your dorm. Are you telling me that I was your ugly date?"

Kyle looked at me with tears actually rolling down his cheeks, "I'm not proud of it. If it makes you feel any better I never won the money. Besides, some of the guys thought you were kind of cute. That's the only reason we ever went out again."

"We dated for ten months!"

"Yes, we did."

"Oh, you son of a...."

"Please sit back down. I'll fast forward through the rest of my story. Now that I‘ve started it only seems right to finish."

I took a seat because it was the only way I could guarantee that I wasn't going to hit him.

"After college, I came to New York and got a job at a small publishing company. It didn't pay much, but part of my job was to entertain the clients when they were in town. That meant partying on the company dime. I partied better and longer than anyone else in the company. Then, one night I partied myself right into the drunk tank at the city jail.

The next morning, as I was being released, I saw Reba in the lobby. She was wearing an angel outfit. At first, I thought I was still drunk. I asked her if God had sent her to me and she said yes. She said that she was there to save my sorry ass. She said that I needed to give her fifty dollars for cab money so that God wouldn't be mad at me any more. I gave her the money and promised that I would get my life together.

After I started my church, I went back to the jail every Saturday morning and waited outside. I knew that eventually she would return to help some other lost soul. Finally, one day, about three months later, I saw her. She came out wearing the same angel outfit and I took her to breakfast. The rest of the story is obvious. She's my wife now and I have a very successful TV ministry."

Kyle leaned forward, looked me in the eyes and said, "The Lord sent me an angel. He can send one for you too, Ginger. Let me be your angel. Let me save you."

"Have you completely lost your mind? She wasn't sent to that jail by God. She had been arrested too and I‘m pretty sure she was doing a whole lot more than just getting drunk!"

Kyle stood and came toward me. "The Lord does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he? I think we should join the others for dinner now." He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the stool. He
started walking and I had no choice but to follow him. He had a death grip on my hand and I was hungry.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Back off, Paula Deen! Here I come!

Download wordart here


It's taken a long, long time but I have finally found my audience...

5 year olds love my cooking!

The green eggs and ham were a big hit. I didn't burn the building down, but my pan needed to seriously soak in warm water when I got home today. lol!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Download wordart here


OK folks, stand back and get your fire extinguishers ready! I'll be cooking green eggs and ham at school in honor of Dr. Seuss.

Here's hoping no one gets sick and the building doesn't burn down!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The foodies have departed

Download wordart here

Thank goodness the weekend has ended and with it's ending another South Beach Food and Wine Festival also ends. Traffic around here was out of control! Guess all the foodies missed the memo about Miami being such a miserable place. lol!

Want to do something that will help make this area a little less miserable the next time you visit?

Stop staring at the freaking cruise ships and drive!!!


I get that you're kind of on vacation and I'm happy for you. Really I am, but some of us aren't on vacation and we just want to get home! I sat in traffic on the causeway for so long Friday afternoon that I started to consider jumping off the bridge and swimming home. lol!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails